Before I turned 40 I had a very busy life. I worked full time in retail management, worked my online store,was raising kids (teenagers!), was active in my church (meaning I always participated and volunteered when they needed help), and ran a household. In my spare time (can you imagine?) I had lots and lots of hobbies. Sewing, painting, and needle crafts tended to be my favorites. Looking back I'm still impressed that I was able to do it all.
I had tried many times before, during my dark period, to do crafts but I never got them finished. I had the ideas but not ambition. The problem with chronic fatigue is it seems your energy only lasts 30 minutes until you need a nap. Then you add brain fog and you just forget about it. I have been unearthing a graveyard of unfinished projects as I've been organizing and uncluttering my house over the last couple months.
My husband is a hunter, albeit not a very good one, which is why I have began collecting deer things. This way he remembers what they look like since they seem to be better at hiding than he is at finding during hunting season. So, anyway, yesterday I began this idea I have for these 2 big plastic deer. A buck and a doe. I wanted to build a box out of my scrap wood pile, glue the deer inside it and build a scene around it.
Everything started off ok. Had my wood, measuring tape, pencil, saw, and sander. I measured twice and cut once, the way I remember doing any cutting whether it be fabric, wood, or whatever. It took a lot longer than I had planned. No matter how much I measured and how careful I cut, for some reason the boards just wouldn't be the same length when compared to each other. Eventually I got it close enough and figured I would go with it.
Next step was sanding, that was fairly easy. Then it was time to assemble the box. Found my hammer and nails and commenced to putting my box together. Ok, it was more like beating it into submission. I thought I did everything right but much to my dismay; I had nailed one of the sides on crooked. I considered it a minute but decided it gave it character. (Truth is I had knocked the nails into the wood and I couldn't figure out how to undo it without destroying or splitting it.)
Ok, finally to my favorite part. Painting. I had decided to use some leftover white latex paint. Went into storage to look for it and grabbed up a can then headed back to my work area. Only thing is when I opened the can it looked incredibly thin. I got my wood stirrer and thought maybe it would thicken once stirred. Nope. Now at this exact moment my brain decides to take a break, go on vacation, or dip out for whatever reason because I brought the stick to my nose and took a big whiff. Do you know what happens when you inhale strong fumes???!!!
I lost my breath. Things got real fuzzy. My chest started to hurt and my stomach felt a bit queasy. Meanwhile, I'm trying to find a place to sit and taking in large amounts of air as soon as I am able. Now mind you, I am alone. My husband was at work. So I began to pray, "Dear Lord, please don't let me die over something so stupid. In this small town you know they wouldn't think this was an accident. Rumors would start that I had a paint huffing problem or something." Few more moments of deep breaths and I am starting to come back to myself.
I finally stand up, put the lid back on the can and by now my brain, that had momentarily escaped and about got me killed, decides to return and begins to chastise me...."What was THAT? Why in the world would you sniff that stuff? Did you really think the smell would tell you what it is!?" I stared at my slightly crooked box, then over at the can (which later I found out was some sort of wood stain or sealer) and considered just admitting defeat. Then I straightened my shoulders and marched myself back to storage and found the actual can of paint......
I started gluing down everything and working on the scene today. When it comes time I will hang that box with pride. Other people may look at it and see a sad attempt at art, I will remember it as the first project I have finished in 5 years.
